Poor people to poor neighborhoods!

Poor people die sooner when living in higher-income neighborhoods than in poorer ones, a new report concludes. Researchers analyzed 17 years' worth of data on thousands of people from four mid-size northern California cities to determine the death rates among different socioeconomic groups residing in the same neighborhoods.

In neighborhoods with a top median income of $47,000, 19 of every 1,000 poor women had died after 17 years, compared with 11 per 1,000 in neighborhoods that had a top median income of $38,600; men fared similarly. Both groups tended to die from the same chronic diseases, and the pattern remained even after accounting for age, obesity, blood pressure and smoking status, the group reports in a paper to be published in the December American Journal of Public Health.
ScientificAmerican.com, Oct. 31, 2006

In a related story, the Republican leadership has proudly announced that they have heard and heeded the criticism from their liberal colleagues on such topics as healthcare, housing, quality of life for the low-income individuals, and the issue of social fairness in our society. In an attempt to extend the longevity of life for the more vulnerable segment of the population, the proposed legislature will enable landlords not only to refuse housing to applicants attempting to move to better neighborhoods, but also to evict the current tenants if the landlord feels that the tenants are “bringing the place down.” Other causes for refusal include the following:

• funny (or not funny enough) accents
  
• oversized jewelry and/or neon trimming on the automobile
  
• lack of a trust fund
  
• consumption of wine-coolers
  
• possession of a Men’s Warehouse suit
  
• income level lower than the landlord’s cat allowance
  
• scurvy
  
• a discount card from Family Dollar stores

In a closed press conference with the Homeless Herald, and the Newark Times, a spokesman for the White House has said that this community-focused piece of legislature also underscores the administration’s commitment to the scientific theory, which served as an impetus for this groundbreaking social policy.